A Manhattan Infidel Special Report: Did Donald Trump Inject Ruth Bader Ginsburg With a Cancer-Causing Agent?

Donald Trump gave Ginsburg cancer!

 

 

 

 

 

 

The following Special Report has been made possible by a grant from the Chubb Group of Insurance Companies.

With word that the most compassionate person ever, Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg had been hospitalized to have two cancerous nodules removed from her left lung people began asking “How did this happen? An 85-year old woman in the prime of her life just doesn’t get cancer!  Was Donald Trump involved?”

These are all reasonable questions.

I believe that Donald Trump personally held Ginsburg down and injected her with a cancer-causing agent.*

*I have no proof that the events I am about to narrate actually happened. But I do not need proof. They ring true. They have the touch of authenticity. And from what we know about Trump’s character this is something he would do.  The events are fake, yet accurate.

  • Fact:  Donald Trump is directly responsible for the deaths of over 2,000 people during his long career, including Jimmy Hoffa, Nelson Mandela and the University of Marshall football team that died in a plane crash. He is also a Republican.
  • Fact:  Republicans do not care about human life and live to kill.
  • Fact:  Ruth Bader Ginsburg is a compassionate liberal. Liberals care about every human life (even the ones they order killed in drone strikes.)
  • Fact: This makes Judge Ginsburg a target of Donald Trump’s irrational Republican hatred.
  • Fact:  Ruth Bader Ginsburg lives in mortal fear of Donald Trump and has told friends that “He will kill me.”

Having gathered all these incontrovertible facts together I speculate that on or about the evening of November 22, 2018 Donald Trump, dressed in combat fatigues and blackface (how racist but what do you expect from this lifelong KKK member?) cut the electricity to Judge Ginsburg’s house.

Then, with the compassionate Ruth Bader Ginsburg plunged into darkness, Trump broke open the front door brandishing an AK-47 (oh but these Republicans are all gun freaks!)

Taking advantage of the darkness and surprise, Trump terrorized Ginsburg by chasing her around her house while shouting “Yippee yi kay yay motherf*cker!”

Ginsburg, a compassionate liberal anti-gun progressive, having no guns in her house did what all good citizens should do:  She called the local police department and informed them that she was in mortal danger of her life. When informed that the police would not be able to arrive for ten minutes at the earliest Ginsburg responded, “I understand. This is the price we pay for living in a civilized, disarmed community.”

The evil Trump took advantage of Ginsburg’s progressive disarmament and kicked his way into her bedroom.  He then held her down, pulled out a syringe and said “I am Donald Motherf*cking Trump and I am going to inject you with a cancer-causing agent.”

Having injected Ginsburg Trump left to report what he had done to the local KKK chapter.

The police arrived ten minutes later and consoled Judge Ginsburg by telling her that self-defense is not necessary in a socialist workers paradise. She agreed and thanked the police for having a monopoly on guns.

I, Manhattan Infidel, stand by this story. The facts may not be true. But they are accurate.

I now humbly accept my Pulitzer.

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2 Comments

2 Responses

  1. LSP says:

    Infidel, I for one, look forward to your Pulitzer. Thank you for yet more evidence that the evil RACIST and BIGOT TRUMP should be wearing an ORANGE jumpsuit.

    The sooner Gwinny Paltrow takes over HHS the better.

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