Collusion collusion collusion!

The following Special Report has been made possible by a grant from the Chubb Group of Insurance Companies.

In Part II of my ground-breaking and award-winning report on collusion between Trump and Russia I focused on the period leading up to election night. In Part III of my ground-breaking and award-winning report on collusion between Trump and Russia (I fully expect a Pulitzer and the Nobel prize) I shall focus on the months between Trump’s election and his inauguration.

Shortly after his controversial election (controversial because America would never reject the most qualified and experienced woman in America, Hillary Clinton (shown here))

Hillary Clinton on election night

President-elect Trump’s National Security Adviser Michael Flynn received a call from Santa’s North Pole Security Adviser, Rudolph the Red Nosed homosexual reindeer.

Works for Santa; Does his bidding

General Flynn of course lied to the FBI about this conversation. I have the transcript which I now present for my readers:

RRNHR:  General Flynn.  Congratulations on the election.

MF:  Thank you.

RRNHR: Let’s cut to the chase. I work for Santa you see. He wants you to know that he put your boss back on the nice list.

MF:  Yes I heard.

RRNHR:  Do you know why he did this?

MF:  From what I understand President-elect Trump and Vladimir Putin colluded to steal the election and beat Hillary Clinton. I mean how else could he have won? It’s not like America was going to reject the most intelligent and qualified female candidate in the United States.

RRNHR:  No. They never would. But anyway there was more to the deal than that. Your boss also needed help getting onto Santa’s nice list. So while he and Putin were colluding Santa agreed to put Trump on the nice list in return for security agreements and arms from Russia.

MF: Horse trading. That’s what we call it in America. Horse trading.

RRNHR:  Anyway in return for taking your boss off the naughty list,  Santa wants something from Trump.

MF:  Tit for tat. I understand.  Horse trading you see. I’m a horse trader. What do you want?

RRNHR:  As you know the reindeer fly over the entire United States. They need a place to deposit their feces safely. You know, so they aren’t shitting all over America.

MF:  How about Maryland?  I’m sure the farmers will appreciate a crap bombardment from the sky.

RRNHR:  Sounds good to me. One more thing. This conversation never happened.

We all know what happened next. The FBI came calling after the appointment of a special prosecutor to ask General Flynn about Russian collusion. They asked him if Rudolph the Red Nosed homosexual reindeer had called him at 2:38 pm on December 17, 2016. General Flynn said Rudolph called at 2:20. And that was a lie! He lied to the FBI to cover his boss’s collusion with Russia to get off of Santa’s naughty list and to steal the 2016 election.

It all makes total sense. I mean why else would America reject the most qualified and experienced woman in America, Hillary Clinton? (Pictured here).

The most qualified woman in America

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