Manhattan Infidel Visits the Saudi Consulate in Istanbul, Turkey

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This looks like a nice place to visit

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The entire world CNN and MSNBC have been outraged by the disappearance of the innocent journalist Muslim Brotherhood member, terrorist, probably a spy Jamal Khashoggi. Being a member of the MSM myself, I have an interest in this story and flew out to Istanbul last weekend to visit the scene of the crime and get to the truth of the matter.

After touching down in Istanbul Constantinople Byzantium I drove to the consulate. I stood outside the gate and shouted “I am a reporter. By the power of my moral authority let me in now!” At least I think that’s what I was shouting. I was relying on a google translation and eye witnesses later told me I might have been shouting “I have on women’s underwear. We make fun time?”

But whatever I was shouting the guilty, ruthless Saudis let me in.

A consulate official approached me and asked what I wanted.  I shouted “I want the truth. What happened to Jamal Khashoggi?”

Again. My Turkish is rusty and I later found out I was shouting “Me very kinky. You spanky, spanky?”

The Saudis wilted at my demand for the truth and took me to a private room.

I was met by another consulate official and once again demanded to know what happened to Khashoggi.

“Khashoggi? He slipped on a banana peel” was his answer.

“He slipped on a banana peel?  That caused his death” I answered incredulously.

“No. After slipping on banana peel he fell and hit his head on baseball bat.  Seventeen times.”

“So he died from slipping on a banana peel and accidentally hitting his head on a baseball bat?”

“No. Baseball bat was on roof. After slipping on banana peel and hitting his head on baseball bat he fell off the roof.”

“So he died from slipping on a banana peel that made him hit his head on a baseball bat that caused him to fall off the roof?”

“No. Before he fell off roof we shot him 27 times. By accident.”

“So he slipped on a banana peel that made him hit his head on a baseball bat that caused him to fall off the roof but not before being accidentally shot 27 times?  That’s how he died?”

“No. After falling he was impaled on the front gate.”

“So he slipped on a banana peel that made him hit his head on a baseball bat that caused him to fall off the roof but not before being accidentally shot 27 times leading to his impalement on the front gate? That’s how he died?”

“No. It was a heart attack. We believe he had high blood pressure.”

Having high blood pressure and taking medicine for a heart ailment I believe the Saudi explanation of his death makes sense.

I shook the consulate member’s hand and said “Thank you for telling me the truth” and left.

At least I think that’s what I said. Again my translation was faulty and I later found out what I actually said was “Come to my hotel room. I have a sex chair and a milking machine.”

But in any event we now know that Jamal Khashoggi died of a heart attack brought on by high blood pressure.

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2 Comments

2 Responses

  1. LSP says:

    That’s pretty brave, Infidel.

    But question. Why did Debbie leave her name on all those pipebombs? Some kind of noob f*k up or sheer bravado?

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