Meghan McCain Opens Eulogy School!

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My father – no wait, I don’t want to talk about him. Trump is literally Hitler!

 

 

 

 

 

 

After winning rave reviews for her eulogy at her father’s funeral, where she bravely spoke truth to power and said bad things about Donald Trump, who is literally Hitler, Meghan McCain has decided to open a school for people who need tips on fashioning the perfect eulogy.

“As the face of conservatism in America I believe I have much to offer” said the daughter of John McCain, who is literally not Hitler, though he is probably meeting Hitler in a warm place right about now.

And what I have to offer is hatred of the Republican party and Donald Trump, who is literally Hitler. I have received nothing but rave reviews from my friends in the media and across the aisle on my eulogy. And like my father I believe in reaching across the aisle.  Like my father I believe in bi-partisanship. And by bipartisanship I mean working with the Democrats to give them everything they want while at the same time stabbing Republicans in the back. That’s why I decided to use my father’s funeral to say bad things about Donald Trump, who is literally Hitler, while his daughter and son-in-law were in attendance. I had fun speaking ill of the living at my father’s funeral and I believe it is time I offered tips to prospective eulogy, um, speaking people.

The face of young conservatives then talked about her new “Meghan McCain School of Eulogy” and its curriculum.

For $30,000 dollars those who enter the school will be given an intensive week long course with topics such as

  • How to cry
  • How to cry and make it look convincing
  • If you can’t cry convincingly how to generate tears on demand
  • Speaking ill of the dead? Never
  • Speaking ill of the living? Depends on their party affiliation
  • Does the person you are speaking ill of have relatives at the service?  So what!
  • Donald Trump is literally Hitler
  • How not to get shot down (Note: This topic has been withdrawn)
  • Always wear black when delivering a eulogy because black is slimming and you just might be a fat cow like I am
  • Using your eulogy to reach across the aisle because Democrats are cooler and go to better parties than you do
  • Leveraging your eulogy into a lucrative TV career

For those willing to spend $50,000, Miss McCain will personally craft a eulogy for you where she says bad things about Republicans.

For those who spend $75,000 Miss McCain will go to your funeral and deliver the eulogy for you.

For $100,000, the so-called “Gold Eulogy Level“, Miss McCain will dig up her father, bring the casket to the funeral and deliver the same eulogy she used the first time where she said bad things about Donald Trump, who is literally Hitler.

“I offer this service because I am an American. A patriot. And like all patriots I enjoy saying bad things about Republicans.”

Note: Meghan McCain’s eulogy school will not accept applications from those whose eulogies will not be televised live.

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2 Comments

2 Responses

  1. LSP says:

    Right.

    It’s like the Handmaid’s Tale. We have all these women who are being enslaved and forced to wear red capes and bonnets by literally Hitler.

    Thank you, Meg, for standing up for the TRUTH.

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