My Exclusive Interview with William Jefferson Clinton

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Ariana Grande or Hillary? Tough choice.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Today at Manhattan Infidel I have the pleasure of interviewing the 42nd President of the United States, Bill Clinton.

MI: Good afternoon Mr President.

BC: Good afternoon Manhattan Infidel. It’s always a pleasure to talk to the press. You boys in the press have been very nice to me and Hillary over the years.

MI:  Let’s talk about – 

BC: I mean, here is Hillary using an unsecured server and the Chinese were reading her emails in real time and you guys did your best to cover that up. Even when Hillary lost because she was a horrible candidate and started the Russian collusion hoax you boys did your job and ran protection for her. I appreciate the way you look out for us two old Democrats.

MI:Wait. What are you saying?  You’re admitting Hillary’s emails were stolen and the Russian collusion story is a hoax? You’ve just implicated your wife in a series of felonies.

BC: Now why would I do that?  What possible motive would I have to send my beloved wife to jail and leave me alone? In my house.  All alone. To do what I want with whom I want? Why would I do that?

MI: I wouldn’t know. You’ve had a busy week. You attended two funerals. John McCain and Aretha Franklin.

BC: Yes. John McCain a true patriot and Aretha Franklin, the queen of soul.

MI: If you could tell my readers of any memories at those two funerals that stood out for you. Let’s start with McCain’s funeral. What stands out?

BC: Meghan McCain. 

More cushion for the pushin’

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sure she’s a bit chunky but during her eulogy I kept thinking I want to reach out across the aisle and grab me some bipartisanship if you know what I mean.

MI: Um.

BC: More cushion for the pushin’ as the saying goes.

MI: Okay moving on. Aretha Franklin’s funeral. What stands out the most? 

BC: Ariana Grande.  

Baby! Yes!

 

 

 

 

 

Mmm mmm good

 

 

 

 

 

 

Let’s get it on!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

MI: I should have known better than to ask that question.

BC: Baby wow! The legs. The ass. If I had known she’d be at Aretha’s funeral I would have had Hillary kill Aretha years ago, like Hillary kills all of my enemies.

MI: Wait, there you go again. What are you saying?  Are you saying Hillary is guilty of even more felonies?

BC I never said any such thing. I’m just a simple, loving husband. Why would I want Hillary out of the picture?

[Hillary Clinton enters] 

The god of hellfire!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

HC:Who the hell is this you are talking to Bill?

BC: It’s Manhattan Infidel, Hillary.

HC: Should I kill him like the others? I can snap his neck with my teeth.

MI: Wait. What are you saying? Are you admitting to a felony?

HC: I’ll be back. I have to go kill someone else.

[Hillary Clinton leaves]

MI: What the hell!  I have no choice but to go to the police now.

BC: And send Hillary away for years?  Leaving me all alone? To do what I want with who I want?

MI: Well, yes.

BC:  Ariana!  Ariana! We can get together now! Is it okay if I invite Megan McCain for a threesome?

[Bill Clinton leaves]

And so ended my interview with William Jefferson Clinton.  Great. Now I’ll have to spend the rest of my life looking over my shoulder for Hillary Clinton.

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