He Man Apologizes for Toxic Masculinity!

I realize I represent a narrow and out-dated view of masculinity!










Superhero He Man today issued a mea culpa to his friends, fans and enemies where he expressed “remorse and regret” for his physical appearance and actions.

“I realize now that my look, my name and my actions represent a history of patriarchal oppression” said the contrite He Man.

I am a changing, evolving person. Times change. Styles and tastes change.  I am from a different era. An era when men ruled everything and women stayed home. I came of age in a time with a narrow, binary definition of masculinity. Men were expected to be strong. Physically and emotionally. In my attempts to help people I adhered to my narrow, cisgender mindset. On occasion I have used my super strength to lift mountains and icebergs and hurl them towards my intended target. Not only was I giving into my white male rage but I was also destroying the environment by doing so. An environment that the brothers and sisters of color, who naturally live in harmony with nature, worship. This must change. I am the change I have been waiting for.

He Man has also promised to be less binary and more gender-fluid.

Why am I called “He Man?”  Is this something to be proud of? Or does it intimidate my fellow human beings? Look at my outfit. It is designed to draw attention to and accentuate my genitalia. Many people have been triggered by my genitalia.  At least that’s what I call them. I understand the kids refer to it now as “junk.”  I have junk of intimidation.  I will be changing my work clothes to something that is less triggering and gender neutral. I want to set a good example for the he/shes of young America.

He then went on to express his long-hidden admiration for frequent “frenemy” Skeletor.

My toxic masculinity and white male rage has made me waste my most precious years fighting Skeletor? For what? Why? Is he not entitled to Castle Grayskull? Or was my binary mindset preventing me from acknowledging my dormant love for him? Skeletor is a person of color. An intellect. I could learn a lot from him. I want to be his friend. His companion. His lover. 

Together these two represent a  paradigm shift







I can finally say that. The two of us together can show the world that fluid gender roles are nothing to be afraid of. And when we capture Castle Grayskull I hope he will let me decorate it.  I know a few antique shops where I can find a few bargains.

When asked about He Man’s change of attitude, Skeletor admitted to mixed feelings.

“Yeah sure it’ll be nice not having him trying to kill me all the time. But to tell the truth I liked him better before he became such a whiny, sensitive Emo bitch.”


4 Responses

  1. Msabeads says:

    Time for peace and domesticity !!

  2. LSP says:

    That was pretty disturbing, Infidel. And no, not the Skeletor/HeMan frenemy expose. No, your blatant cigender bias.


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