Hollywood to Make Biopic of Harvey Weinstein; Hugh Jackman to Play Title Role!

Views:
41

The true story shall be told!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

With the downfall of Harvey Weinstein still fresh, it has been learned that a major studio in Hollywood is preparing a biography of Weinstein.

“We have to strike when the actress is hot as we like to say” said a famous producer.

The story has everything: Name recognition. Power. Glamour. Sex. Scandal. Jews. We’re going to do what Hollywood does best:  Tell the truth. Unless our lawyers tell us otherwise. Then we’ll make some stuff up.

The biopic will be a story of the rise, fall and redemption of Harvey Weinstein.

The first half will cover his rise and fall and the last half will be about his redemption. Naturally no one knows how the story will end so we hired some of Hollywood’s best screenwriters to write several scenarios for the ending. We’ll test them with audiences and use the one that seems most plausible. Or the one that attacks Trump and the people who voted for him. Probably the one that attacks Trump and those who voted for him.

Among the scenarios for the ending the one that seems to gaining the most ground is where Weinstein, freshly back from sex rehab, produces an uplifting biography of Roman Polanski entitled “Bathtub of Innocence.”

We here at the Worldwide Headquarters of Manhattan Infidel™ have obtained a portion of the script which we now present:

Weinstein, wearing the robes of a monk, talks to George Clooney about his downfall, changing tastes and the movie he is making.

HW:  I tell you George I don’t understand the world.  Sure I was a sleazeball sexual harasser but I always gave money to the Democrats and Planned Parenthood. I’m very pro-abortion. That used to be a get-out-of-jail-free card for any sexual misconduct. Women love when you do that and will forgive you anything. 

GC:  You’re a victim my friend. A victim of the Republicans and their war on women. I am ashamed of this deeply racist and misogynistic country. How could America reject Hillary Clinton for Donald Trump?

HW: George, it’s not for us to question the wisdom of the voters.

GC:  You are so correct Harvey. I sometimes forget we are merely entertainers, not the conscience of America. So tell me about Bathtub of Innocence.

HW: The whole movie is about Roman Polanski and his attempts to clear his name after being accused of statutory rape. I mean it wasn’t rape, rape. All he did was ask her into his bathtub so he could perform anal sex.

GC: America is so puritanical.

HW:  Trump!

GC:  I am disgusted!

Australian Heartthrob Hugh Jackman has been signed to play Weinstein.

“I am delighted to have this role” said Jackman.

I’ve known Harvey for years and am disgusted by the way puritanical, racist, misogynistic America has blackened his name. I will bring humanity to the character of Weinstein and look forward to raping all those actresses. Um. On camera I mean. Um. On camera for the movie I mean.

The film, entitled “Casting Couch of Innocence” is due for release in 2019.

(49)

4 Responses

  1. MadMax says:

    Bet the viewers will line up for that one. NOT!

  2. LSP says:

    Infidel, repeat after me. OBEY YOUR MASTERS, OBEY YOUR MASTERS!

    Or don’t, racist.

Leave a Reply

Using Gravatars in the comments - get your own and be recognized!

XHTML: These are some of the tags you can use: <a href=""> <b> <blockquote> <code> <em> <i> <strike> <strong>