An eastern Wiccan, often referred to by intolerant, religiously fanatical Republicans as “The Wicked Witch of the East” was killed today by a white girl whose house fell on the innocent Wiccan.
“This white girl just done and put her house right down on her” said a munchkin who witnessed the incident.
The Wiccan of the east was just minding her own business, chilling in the ‘hood when this house, a white house mind you, came right down and crushed her. Then this white chick got out the house like killing us was no big deal. Don’t no one care about us munchkins. The white girl probably won’t even go to jail. White folk get away with murder. Literally in this case. Me and some of the brothers are going to protest. White folk have declared war on us munchkins and are killing us. Munchkin lives matter!
The white girl in question, known as Dorothy (pictured here)
has denied any premeditated wrongdoing and has used climate change as a defense in an obvious attempt to garner sympathy.
“There was this tornado” said Dorothy.
A large one like I’ve never seen before. It just picked the house up and carried us to this place where it set us down. It wasn’t my fault. I had no intention of killing a Wiccan. Wiccans are peaceful people and use their powers to fight for social justice and to defeat the patriarchy. I tell you I did not believe in the settled science of climate change before but I do now. I know we must lower our carbon footprint or there will be more tornadoes and more tragic accidents like this. I ask the munchkin community to forgive me. I am also donating money to the NAAMP, the National Association for the Advancement of Munchkin Peoples.
As pressure mounts on President Trump to appoint a special prosecutor to investigate whether the death of the eastern Wiccan was a hate crime, Emerald City prepares for a night of rioting.
“I’ve asked my officers to use restraint and as long as the rioting is limited to destroying property not to arrest any munchkins” said Emerald’s police chief.
We have to cut the munchkins some slack and let them get the rioting out of their systems. As a white male I am cognizant of the crimes of my race against munchkins in the past. I feel it is time to open a dialogue and talk about issues between the munchkin community and those of us in privileged positions.
As for Dorothy, taking advantage of her white privilege she has left the land of Oz to avoid prosecution.
“This is so typical of those people” said an Emerald City community organizer.
“She killed our Wiccan and then stole her slippers. White people can’t be trusted.”