The white man makes black folk kill each other

It has happened again.  A promising up-and-coming rapper’s career has been cut short by premature gunshot wounds.  In this case it was Dominic Newton, who went by the name “The Jacka” who was gunned down on MacArthur Boulevard in Oakland.

Since I always strive to make the job of the MSM even easier than it already is I now present the Official Rapper Death Template.™

A gifted young rapper, beloved by his fans has died of

• A bullet to the head
• Several bullets to the head
• Several bullets to the head and torso
• Stab wounds (He lived in a Hispanic neighborhood)

His manager

• Is in shock
• Ordered the shooting
• Was shot with him
• Blamed the death on cops

His record label

• Will put out a greatest hits package to memorialize his talent
• Cancelled the advance he was going to get on royalties
• Has already signed another rapper to replace him
• Whoops. The new rapper we just signed has been shot

A gifted young rapper, signed by the record label to replace the previous rapper who was shot dead has been shot

• Is he still alive?
• How many times was he shot?
• Stab wounds?  Man move out of that Hispanic neighborhood
• Cancel the advance

A gifted young rapper, signed by the record label to replace the rapper who was shot to replace the rapper who was shot dead was seen walking down the street. By himself!

• He should make an easy target
• Don’t take any chances.  Two shots to the head!
• Hold on.  I think that’s the guy who shot the other two rappers
• Well if he shot the other two rappers then he has street cred.  We should sign him to a contract. Just make sure there is a clause in it to cancel any advances when he gets shot dead

The funeral for the rapper (no not the one who was signed to replaced the one who was shot dead but the original guy I forget his name but him yeah, the guy who died of multiple gunshot wounds) will be open to the public

• Will there be metal detectors at the funeral home?
• Oh man that’s how the rapper who was signed to replace the one who was shot replacing the one who was shot dead was shot
• I think putting his gun in the casket was a nice touch.  He loved his family, his people and his glock
• Breaking news:  This just in.  There has been a shooting at a funeral home!

And so readers the next time a promising young rapper is shot dead just whip out this handy template.  It’s fun, informative and gluten-free.

Rapper Death Template™ not valid where prohibited by law.

What the – is that gunfire?

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