Manhattan Infidel Presents the Will President Obama Attend This Event Template™

Can't a guy eat his waffle without being bothered about attending some stupid anniversary?

Can’t a guy eat his waffle without being bothered about attending some stupid anniversary?

A massive march in Paris to show solidarity against an act of terror.  The 70th anniversary of the liberation of Auschwitz.  What do these two events have in common? Leaders from around the world attended.  But our President did not. With this in mind I now present the “Will President Obama Attend This Event Template™.”

A shocking act of terrorism has galvanized Europe.  World leaders will attend. Should President Obama?

  • Europe?  The only good thing about that continent are the Muslims
  • Extremism against western values is not terrorism
  • Will the Jew Netenyahu be at this event?
  • I’m eating a f*cking bagel.  Leave me alone

It is the 70th anniversary of the liberation of the Auschwitz death camp.  Should President Obama attend?

  • You guys keep asking me to go to Europe.  I mean I’m a citizen of the world and all that but can’t a guy just relax on his sofa?
  • The terrorist Jews brought it upon themselves
  • Netenyahu will be there so I’m not going.  I don’t like that guy.  He’s mean to me
  • Seriously?  It’s the weekend

The Governor of Texas has extended an invitation to see the humanitarian crisis at the Mexican border. Should Obama attend?

  • The only crisis is Texas won’t let those future Democratic voters into the country
  • There would be no crisis if we didn’t have borders
  • This smacks of politics.  I am above politics and cheap, theatrical photo ops
  • Stop asking me to do stuff!

President Obama has been invited to see for himself that the Keystone Pipeline will not cause massive environmental damage.  Should he attend?

  • That’s in the Midwest isn’t it?  Probably no celebrities to hob nob with.
  • We must replace oil with wind power funded by corporations the Feds decide are worthy of grants
  • Sounds like those racist Republicans are trying to embarrass me!  El Presidente!
  • Look I’ve already had the White House chef cook me a pizza.  Maybe next time

ESPN has invited President Obama to give his picks for the NCAA tournament. Should he attend?

  • Finally!  An event worthy of my talents.
  • Seriously.  I am a genius
  • Eat my dust President Bush.  ESPN never invited YOU to give your picks.
  • I hope they give me court side tickets to the final four.  This is what a President should be doing!
  • I’ve already informed the leaders of Europe not to bother me during March Madness


And there you have it readers.  I hope this handy template will help you better determine whether our President should attend an event.



2 Responses

  1. Petermc3 says:

    Cut him a break. He attends Mooch’s weekly weigh ins at weight watchers followed by a trip to Arby’s for crap covered in Horsey Sauce.

  2. These event organizers have no respect for the one and only Barack Barry Sotero Hussein Obama. If they weren’t a bunch of racist, they would organize these events at some first class golf courses.

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