Manhattan Infidel Presents: Historical Inaccuracies in History Channel’s Sons of Liberty

My wife has a penis!

My wife has a penis!

Like many of my readers I am something of a history buff so when the History Channel announced that they would be airing a miniseries entitled “Sons of Liberty” focusing on Sam Adams and Paul Revere I had to watch. Alas I was sadly disappointed.  The miniseries was rife with historical inaccuracies.  Granted, it wasn’t as inaccurate as “William Howard Taft: Pole Dancer” or “Herbert Hoover: Gay and Proud” but the inaccuracies were jarring enough to dampen my enjoyment of the show.

And so for any of my readers who did not see the show I now present a partial listing of the inaccuracies of said miniseries.

  • Sam Adams was not married to a transsexual

The miniseries implies that Adams’ wife had a penis. While this is possible the prevailing historical evidence suggests that both of Adams’ wives were biologically female.  A representative for the History Channel says the change was made to “make the story more interesting to modern Americans.”

  • Sam Adams did not invent the Jukebox

The miniseries strongly implies that Adams was a drunk who invented the jukebox as a way of increasing profits at his pubs.  In one scene an inebriated Adams is seen waving a ten dollar bill and shouting “F*ck Michael Jackson I just want to put some Beatles on the Jukebox!”

  • Sam Adams was not an advocate of gun control

The miniseries lays claim to having Adams start the first gun control club in the colonies.  “We’re playing with fire with these muzzle-loading flintlock muskets!  Why a man can fire one round every 60 seconds!”  The miniseries also has him calling for banning all “assault flintlocks.”

  • Sam Adams did not write Stairway to Heaven

Okay, so I’m prepared to cut the History Channel some slack on this one.  No one knows who Led Zeppelin originally stole Stairway to Heaven from.  And recently discovered among Adams’ papers was this poem:

If there’s an Englishman in your Hedgerow, you better be alarmed now

It’s General Gage and his troops

Yes there are two paths you can hide in but in the long run

There’s still time to ride out and warn the colonials

So again, it may be plausible.  However I don’t think he ever forced a groupie to have sex with a shark.

  • Paul Revere did not use a Prius during his famous midnight ride

In the miniseries Paul Revere as he was about to ride out to warn that the British regulars were coming grabbed the keys to the Prius he had in his driveway.  “I want to warn people.  But I want to do it in an environmentally sound way” he says.

  • George Washington did not represent the patriarchy

The miniseries strongly implies that Washington rebelled against the British because he thought they were going to give women the right to vote. “I don’t women to vote. I want to rape them” he tells one of his generals.

  • John and Abigail Adams did not practice Gender Fluidity

In the series John Adams is often seen in private wearing women’s clothing while Abigail wore the clothing of a man.  “Yes!  Oh god yes!  You know I want it Abby” he was quoted as saying as Abigail used her strap on to penetrate his anus.

And these were just a few of the historical inaccuracies.  I suggest watching it on Netflix for the full historically inaccurate treatment.


4 Responses

  1. Fiction writers make the best historians. Maybe Obama will write some history books when he is out of office.

    • Manhattan Infidel says:

      Haven’t you heard? He’s a constitutional scholar and the Constitution gives him the right to rule for life.

  2. Petermc3 says:

    Hey IDM, did you see the imperialist American Agressor special which proved that The United States started WW II by bombing peace loving Japan?

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