In Search of the Right-Wing Slut

Join me as I go in search of the right wing slutReaders of mine of a certain age will remember the show “In Search Of” hosted by Leonard Nimoy which ran in syndication from 1976 to 1982.  Because the show presented conjecture each episode’s opening credits contained these words:

This series presents information based in part on theory and conjecture.  The producer’s purpose is to suggest some possible explanations, but not necessarily the only ones, to the mysteries we will examine.

Mysteries covered included the Bermuda Triangle, Bigfoot, the Lost Continent of Atlantic and of particular interest in light of the recent suspending of MSNBC host Ed Schultz for calling Laura Ingraham a “right-wing slut“, an episode entitled “In Search of the Right Wing Slut.”  The show originally aired on October 12, 1978 and through the miracle of DVDs I now present this much-talked about episode.  So now sit back and join Leonard Nimoy as we go in search of the mythical right-wing slut.

Nimoy: Hello I’m Leonard Nimoy.  Tonight we explore the mystery of the right-wing slut.  Does such a beast exist?  Or is it just a fable.  And if they do exist what influence do they have upon world events.  We start our search in the deserts of Utah where an amateur archeologist has been digging for evidence of a vast underground right-wing slut breeding factory.  I understand you’ve been out here for a decade all alone and you’ve spent your life savings trying to prove your theory.  Any luck?

Amateur archeologist:  I have found no evidence whatsoever.  But this breeding factory must exist.  I’m sure of it.  They breed, then blend in with us for the express purpose of de-stabilizing our society.

Nimoy:  Fascinating.  This explains war, poverty, famine, Neil Sedaka.

Amateur archeologist One night I was sleeping by the side of the road and I heard a sound like this:  “Beep beep.”  My psychiatrist tells me it was probably a car horn but I believe it was the sound of the hellgate to the underground right-wing slut factory opening and depositing one of their agents on the surface to do harm.

Nimoy There can be no other explanation. Do you have any specific examples of the baleful influence of these right-wing slut harpies upon society?

Amateur archeologist:  Yes.  I believe that John Wilkes Booth was raised by a right-wing slut and she hypnotized him into shooting the president.  I mean, why else would Booth do this?  He was an actor! I also believe that right-wing sluts are actively behind climate change.  That is why the Earth’s core temperature keeps dropping.  If we don’t stop the right-wing slut we shall soon experience another ice age.

Nimoy:  Logical.  Flawlessly logical.

Amateur archeologist:  Thank you Mr. Ears.

Nimoy:  Don’t call me that.  I’m not Spock.  There is so much more to me.  I’m a singer of songs you know. Would you like to hear me sing “Proud Mary?”  Left a good job in the city/working for the man ev’ry night and day/and I never lost one minute of sleepin’/Worryin’ about the way things might have been…..

Amateur archeologistMy god.  You’re one of them.  You were raised by a right-wing slut weren’t you?  You’re here to de-stabalize the planet!

Nimoy:  That’s just conjecture on your part.

Amateur archeologistWhat the……did you just try to give me a Vulcan neck pinch?

Nimoy:  The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few. Or the one.

Amateur archeologist:  Okay.  That movie hasn’t even been made yet!

And there you have it.  A fascinating look back at early conjecture into the existence of the right-wing slut.  So readers, fight Laura Ingraham.  Do not let her de-stabilize our planet!

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8 Comments

8 Responses

  1. I suspect that most, if not all, of the right wing sluts are operating as sleeper cells in California.

  2. Manhattan Infidel says:

    Jim: That explains so much.

  3. SEE I TOLD YOU SO! THANK YOU SPOCK! YOU’VE PROVEN ME CORRECT! LAURA INGRAHAM IS A RIGHT-WING SLUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111111111111eleventy!!!!!!!!!!11111!!!!!!!!!!

  4. Manhattan Infidel says:

    Ed: You know I can’t stay mad at you. You’re a liberal and serve the cause of the narrative.

  5. innominatus says:

    I forget what that Vulcan going-into-heat-‘roid-rage is called. Mar-Far or something. But I’m glad it didn’t happen to Nimoy while he was in Utah there with Ed Schultz and Laura Ingraham. Coulda been a bad scene.

  6. Matt says:

    And here, I thought that Shatner was raised by a right wing slut.

  7. MK says:

    So the scumbag was only suspended, too bad they didn’t have the balls to boot his bigoted ass out entirely.

  8. Manhattan Infidel says:

    MK: His ratings are so low he may be given a permanent suspension soon.

    Matt: No. Shatner IS a right wing slut.

    Inn: That would be a very ugly incident indeed.

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