Notorious women haters

The Borg will have to appear in Federal Court after a Title 9 complaint was issued against them. The trouble for the Borg began when several Borg beamed down to the SUNY Oswego campus and began making a general nuisance of themselves.

“I was walking across campus to get to my queer theory class when this guy approached me” said one coed.

He said “We are Borg. You shall be assimilated. Resistance is futile. Your life as it has been is over. From this time forward you will service us.”  Hello? I felt like I was being train raped by Brett Kavanaugh.  I ain’t servicing anybody unless it’s my idea! Because being on your knees is only empowering when it’s your idea. Anyway I was so frightened by him. He triggered me. I ran back to my dorm room,  put on some Lady Gaga and cried. 

Soon other coeds began having their own encounters with the Borg (who may or may not be binary).

“I was explaining to some freshman (these freshman have to be reeducated) that gender was a bourgeois construct” said an upper classperson who self-identifies as a two-spirited third sex gender fluid femme queen.

This guy approached me with what looked like an assault weapon on his arm 

Don’t mind the assault weapon on my arm

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

– how that doesn’t violate Governor Cuomo’s safe laws is beyond me – and he starts giving me this shit about how my biological distinctiveness will be joined to his. Hello? If that isn’t sexual assault then I guess I don’t know what sexual assault is. I was so overcome with triggered emotion I collapsed on the ground weeping. Later I had to go to a designated campus safe space where I was comforted with chocolate and Teddy bears.

Not wanting to risk an incident of female hysteria on campus SUNY Oswego’s president hired famous creepy porn lawyer Michael Avenatti.

“Title 9 expressly prohibits behavior such as the Borg’s” said Avenatti.

I’m suing everybody

Let me read you the pertinent section:  “No person in the United States shall, on the basis of sex, be excluded from participation in, be denied the benefits of, or be subjected to discrimination under any education program or activity receiving Federal financial assistance.”  Clearly the Borg, by threatening assimilation violate Title 9. That is why I am suing the Borg Collective on behalf of all two-spirited, gender queer, non-op, non-binary transgender, androgyne, FTM, gender gifted coeds.  Have I left anyone out? Oh yes. I forgot about those who self-identify as third sex.

Avenatti then went on to blame Donald Trump for the rise of objectionable Borg behavior.

First he goes after my other client, the brave feminist hero Stormy Daniels, who is a role model for all women. Then he sends in his shock troops, those who self-identify as Borg. When I am elected president I shall be known as the anti-those who self-identify as Borg president.

As for the Borg they deny that they have violated any Title 9 provisions.

“Earth people must have a stick up their ass or something. We should have assimilated Mars instead” said the Borg queen.

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