People Outraged by Donald Trump’s Outrageous Comments!

I'm outraged! Outraged!

I’m outraged! Outraged!

The entire civilized world (excepting Scotland which has never been civilized) expressed horror and outrage over Donald Trump’s offensive comments about women.

“I’m outraged and disgusted” said the leader of Respectable Citizens United Against Trump.

This only confirms I was right in being outraged in the first place. But now I am even more outraged. My level of outrage is even more outraged than my original level of outrage when I became outraged over something I don’t remember.

At the headquarters of Citizens United Against Trump (which broke off from Respectable Citizens United Against Trump when they became outraged over Respectable Citizens United Against Trump’s failure to condemn Trump for his comments on Mexicans) the president of the group expressed outrage.

“I am outraged. Totally outraged” he declared.

I haven’t been so outraged since Respectable Citizens United Against Trump weren’t outraged over his outrageous comments about Mexicans. I call upon Respectable Citizens United Against Trump to release their tax returns. What are they hiding?

The group Citizens Against Trump expressed their outrage by posting the following on their website:

We at Citizens United Against Trump (not to be confused with Respectable Citizens United Against Trump or Citizens United Against Trump) feel nothing but moral outrage over his statements. When are lower class Republicans who haven’t attended eastern, Ivy-league schools going to learn that waging war against women won’t work and will lose us votes? And frankly a war against our female companions is senseless and fills us with even more outrage then we normally feel.

Around the world reports of people being outraged poured in.

“I’m outraged. Absolutely outraged” said German Chancellor Angela Merkel.

These sentiments I take it are common in a barely civilized country like America. But we in Germany have grown beyond this. I’d continue talking abut a Muslim immigrant is raping me.

“I’m outraged and disgusted” said Palestinian National Authority Chairman Mahmoud Abbas.

That is why we circumcise our women. That way we won’t be tempted by them. Once we conquer America the infidel women will all be circumcised.

British Prime Minister Theresa May had this to say:

I am outraged. I am outraged as a woman. I am outraged as a human being. I am outraged because I am outraged!  I’m outraged! Totally, totally outraged.

Big Bird of Sesame Street told reporters that he, too, was outraged.

I mean, I have no genitalia. But if I did I’d be outraged. Totally.

Russian leader Vladimir Putin expressed his outrage by taking his shirt off and wrestling a bear. He was able to kill the bear by pulling its jaws apart until they snapped. The bear was also outraged by Trump’s comments.

UN Secretary General Ban Ki-moon was reported to be so outraged by Trump’s comments that he walked across the 38th parallel and offered himself as a hostage to North Korea.

“I am too outraged to do anything but eat grass and this is the perfect place to do it” he told his captors.

Someone named “Dave” from Weehawken, New Jersey was not outraged at the moment but mulling it over. He was immediately beaten to death by outraged neighbors.

Speaker of the House Paul Ryan disinvited Trump to a campaign event.

As a Democrat I am outraged by his comments. What? I’m a Republican? Since when? No matter. It’s the same thing.

President Obama has declared a State of Emergency and ordered all outraged citizens to flee to safe space shelters.

Donald Trump could not be reached for comment, further outraging an outraged world.

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4 Comments

4 Responses

  1. LSP says:

    I like everything about this post, the outrage, the cameo shot of Democrat Paul Ryan and, well, the outrage which we all feel. But one thing stands out.

    Yes, Putin’s episode with the bear. Captured, perfectly.

  2. LSP says:

    Weird how we’ve become more Red than Russia.

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